Archive for March, 2010

http://www.reddit.com/comments/bkwcn/no_sex_since_1955/

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?”
“1955, ma’am.”
“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me.”
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”
(Gotta love military time)

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Go here to DL more: http://rainwarrior.thenoos.net/music/moon8.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp14xXwnwJA

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Great story. Read more at link below.

http://tiny.cc/6lrcx

I took Boyfriend to the Emergency Room last night because he was vomiting up vast quantities of what I thought was blood but actually it was just Craisins. You guys, if you feel like you may become violently ill in the near future, stay away from red food. Failure to do so may create an atmosphere of unnecessary panic and chaos.

None of that is medically useful and it doesn’t even have all the numbers, so I made a better one with all the numbers:

painfaces0-6
painfaces7-12

0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don’t know why I’m even here.

1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2: I probably just need a Band Aid.

3: This is distressing. I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.

4: My pain is not fucking around.

5: Why is this happening to me??

6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.

8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.

9: I am almost definitely dying.

10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

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http://i.imgur.com/fFVUX

koro

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Stolen from Humza’s reader.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G6d1nOcElg&feature=player_embedded

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http://i.imgur.com/G168L
wheelie

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From a guy who’s SN is Fagottron, haha. Well done sir.

Via Mel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlS_Rnb5WM4

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Pads for women on the run from robot assassins sent from the future.

http://i.imgur.com/p0xfx
niche

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http://tiny.cc/w3mzi

booked

Totally didn’t see that coming. I love the pose at the end.

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Title stolen from reddit:http://tiny.cc/q0lr0

http://imgur.com/RYSBs

irony

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